Acheron Writes

‘Jesus Christ! Holy Mother of God!’ shrieked Maryellen.

Rick, her boyfriend, looked up from his book. ‘What’s wrong, babe?’ Following her gaze to their tent’s entrance, he saw the creature scutter in, its large body and spiny legs marking it as New Zealand’s most recognisable insect.

‘Kill it! Kill it!’ Maryellen screamed, backing away. The rear of the tent stopped her retreat.

She looked ready to chew her way through the fabric.

Sensing fear, nature’s nightmare scrambled over the tent’s fabric floor, making a beeline for his girlfriend.

‘Calm down,’ Rick said. ‘It’s just a wētā. They’re harmless.’

‘Kill it now!’ she shrieked. ‘Or count me out of this damn camping trip of yours. I should have known better than to come to New Zealand with you.’

Rick stood and approached the insect. It was a whopper, about four inches long. ‘Well, Willie Wētā, buddy, you picked the wrong tent.’ He used his book to sweep the bug into a bucket.

‘There you go. Trapped.’ He walked the bucket outside and released Willie in a nearby stand of trees. Re-entering the tent, he zipped its horseshoe door all around.

‘Problem solved,’ he told her. ‘It’s outside. We’re in. The door’s zipped tight.’

‘You let it go?’ she said. ‘I’m not going back outside!’

‘Oh, don’t be such a princess.’

‘You don’t be a damn princess! How am I supposed to sleep with that thing thundering around out there?’

‘Thundering is a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?’ Rick smiled and winked. ‘And wasn’t it you who suggested this trip?’

‘Oh, now it’s my fault?’

He hadn’t realised her voice could go louder. He walked towards her, appreciating that he could stand up straight in the large tent provided by the glamping company.

Maryellen stood pressed against the rear wall, her charms on full display. A brunette in her early thirties, she wore a sports top that ended just below noteworthy breasts. Below that, her toned abs took a deep dive into low-slung shorts.

Instead of stopping to admire the view, Rick hugged her. ‘There now. Let’s take your mind off that thing.’ He kissed her, running a finger along her bare collarbone, then started down her cleavage.

She jerked back. ‘So big bugs make you horny? You want those privileges, mister; put a ring on it!’ She turned away and flung herself down on her side of the sleeping pad.

Rick sighed. Women often used seduction to try to cajole him into a proposal. This girl was the first to use abstinence. It wouldn’t work. He refused to be trapped in a marriage. He’d bet his partner ten thousand dollars he’d nail Maryellen on this trip, not the other way around.

***

Caleb and Eli co-owned their glamping business. Glamorous camping for well-heeled tourists was a growing attraction for international visitors wanting to experience the wonders of New Zealand’s natural beauty in comfort. Their van sat fifty feet from where they’d erected the tent for their guests. Caleb listened to the conversation between the two campers. He didn’t need the earpiece tuned to the mic in their tent. The woman’s voice could wake the dead. He’d been hoping to hear hot sex, not an argument. He sighed, removed the earbud and turned to Eli.

‘So, are we set?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, we’re good to go,’ said his partner. ‘Everything checks out. He’s a reputable Yank. Made his money in Silicon Valley. Lots of disposable assets. I don’t know why he’s with the girl. Pure trailer trash. She doesn’t have the intelligence God gave a goat.’

‘Could be her body, eh,’ Caleb said, grinning. ‘She’s a ripper.’

‘Yeah, well,’ Eli agreed. ‘Anyway, everything checks out. We can go ahead as planned.’

‘Can I press the button?’ asked Caleb.

‘Sure. I know you like to press that button.’

Caleb pressed the button.

The fancy tent, built to Eli’s specifications, fabric stretched over a metal frame, twenty feet long, ten feet wide and seven feet tall, folded up with an electric whine. Caleb chuckled, listening to the surprised reactions of the two campers as they discovered themselves trapped, their shelter collapsing.

***

‘Oh, what a great idea!’ wailed Maryellen. ‘Let’s go see Abel Tasman’s backcountry, where no one ever goes. It’ll be just us and nature!’

That’s not precisely how Rick remembered it, but he didn’t nitpick. ‘Okay,’ he agreed. ‘Maybe not the best idea.’

They were swaddled like mummies inside the folded tent, unable to move a muscle. They could breathe, so there must be ventilation. Unintelligible voices murmured outside. The tent lifted, moved, and then settled onto a hard surface. A small engine started up, and soon they were bouncing along to God knows where.

***

Eli had searched his guests’ belongings and was ready for their interviews. He started with Richard Avery, the mark. The guy looked frazzled when he was shoved into the room, his hands handcuffed behind his back.

‘Eli! What’s the meaning of this? Let us go this instant!’

‘Mr. Avery, I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve fallen prey to a criminal element. But no worries. It needn’t be unpleasant. We’ll release you and the woman. All we want in return is half your assets. A fair exchange, I’d say.’

He slid a writing pad over with Avery’s bank and brokerage accounts listed. ‘I’d like the passwords for these, please.’

‘I’m no fool!’ Rick yelled, his face livid. ‘You’d take all my money. I’m not telling you a damn thing. I’ll tell you the deal. You let us go right now before the cops get here, and we’ll give you four hours before we sound the alarm. You might even get away. If you’re lucky.’

Eli sighed. ‘Don’t you feel a bit foolish? Snapped up in our rich-tourist trap? We baited it with a little luxury in the great outdoors and waited for you to walk right in. Come on. I’m a nice guy. I don’t want to get rough.’

‘I’m not giving you a damn thing. The cops should show up any minute.’

Eli smiled. ‘You do know what country you’re in, right?’

***

After Avery was hauled away, the woman, Maryellen, was marched in, her hands cuffed behind her. With dishevelled brown hair, she looked even hotter than usual. Brought to a stop in front of Eli’s desk, her eyes drilled into his. ‘I know my rights. I want a lawyer,’ she demanded.

‘Jeeze,’ he groaned. ‘You don’t get a lawyer.’

‘Why? Don’t you even have lawyers in this God-forsaken country?’

‘Of course we do, though we call ’em solicitors.’

‘Then I want a damn solicitor. And my phone call. I’m going to have your badge, mister. You didn’t read me my veranda rights.’ The smug look of victory on Maryellen’s face was something to behold.

‘Damn, woman,’ said Eli. ‘You’re not under arrest. You’re snatched. Kidnapped.’

‘What?’ The shocked look on the hottie’s face was worth the wait.

Over two fruitless days, Eli’s annoyance grew. The police were searching for the two hikers after they failed to show up at their next night’s lodging. He’d told park officials that the couple left his glamping site as scheduled after he’d served them a gourmet breakfast. The police figured the two tourists became disoriented while tramping through twenty-two kilometres of rugged country to reach their next stop.

‘Avery’s not budging,’ Eli fumed to Caleb. ‘It’s going to take longer than planned. To play it safe, I’m taking him to Australia on the boat tomorrow afternoon. The girl’s just a pain. We need to get rid of her.’

‘I’ll handle that,’ said Caleb.

‘You know the routine. No sign of her can ever turn up.’

Caleb looked at Eli with a pained expression. ‘Have they ever turned up?’

***

FBI Special Agent Dana Rivers zipped on the blue police vest loaned to her by Inspector Smith. He was her New Zealand Police liaison and rode beside her in the helicopter. Her headset was tuned to the command channel for the upcoming raid. She wished she had her Glock, but carrying a firearm in a foreign country was complicated.

For the past year, she’d been investigating the disappearance of several Americans in New Zealand and Australia. If this raid came off as she hoped, it would be a wrap. And she suspected they’d find a grisly bonus. She shivered at the thought, hoping she was wrong.

Someone shouted in her earphones, ‘Go! Go! Go!’ She knew police constables were now swarming the compound where she hoped Richard Avery was safe and sound. And she was missing it, damn it! She’d been tied up and arrived at the chopper late.

She spotted the target, a rural compound, in the distance. The helicopter came in fast, flaring out for its landing. She and Smith leapt from the chopper, its rotors still beating, and ran to join the police tactical unit. In the distance, she spotted Avery walking around under his own power. Thank goodness he’s okay, she thought.

The tactical commander walked up. ‘Agent Rivers, the raid’s a success — a complete surprise. No injuries. The criminals are rounded up. We’ll do a quick interrogation here before moving them to Christchurch.’

A constable came running. ‘The Yank’s in a panic,’ he said. ‘Seems one of the gang is gone, and his girlfriend’s missing.’

Avery wasn’t far behind him, yelling, ‘Who’s in charge here? Someone needs to…’

Dana turned to face Avery. ‘Maryellen?’ he asked, uncertain, staring at the police ballistic vest shrouding her chest.

Inspector Smith stepped in. ‘Mr. Avery, thank God we got you out safe. This is Dana Rivers, FBI Special Agent on the case. She’s the one who alerted us to where you were being held.’

‘What?’ said Avery confused.

‘Hello, Richard,’ said Dana. ‘I’m glad you’re okay.’

‘Wait. You’re FBI? Your name is Dana?’

‘I should probably catch you up on a few things,’ she said.

‘But…’ Avery’s face still showed confusion. ‘But I thought Caleb might have…’

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, smiling. ‘Caleb brought me to his cabin. We had a little tête-à-tête. He’s in the hospital being mended. That’s why we’re late.’

Dana turned to Smith, ‘Inspector, how soon can you get people out to Caleb’s cabin and canvass the grounds? I have a bad feeling Caleb wasn’t just bragging about what’s buried there.’

‘The team’s forming now,’ said the inspector. ‘They’ll be on-site this afternoon.’

‘Very good,’ she replied. ‘I commend you and your men. Great performance today.’

Dana had observed Richard as he silently watched this exchange. She knew he was remembering the day they’d met for the first time and the sequence of events that brought them to Abel Tasman. His eyes opened wide as he realised he’d been played. A look of annoyance mixed with admiration crossed his face.

‘Richard, I have to sit in on Eli’s interrogation, but I’ll find you after.’

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘But have dinner with me tonight, Ms Dana Rivers of the FBI. You owe me.’

Dana glanced around the compound, then back to his face. ‘I don’t know, Richard; some might say you owe me. Anyway, sure, I’ll join you for dinner. But you’re buying.’

‘Okay.’

‘And if you’re a good sport,’ she continued, ‘who knows? You might even win that bet.’ She winked as she turned to follow Smith to interrogate the prisoners, leaving Richard with his mouth agape.

Six months later, they returned to New Zealand to enjoy Abel Tasman’s golden beaches on their honeymoon.

Willie was waiting.